


I Won't Be Silent, You Can't Keep Me Quiet

by Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Abuse, Adrien Agreste Is Sunshine, Angst, Badass Luka Couffaine, Concerts, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Luka Couffaine Loves Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Protectiveness, Singing, kind of, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever/pseuds/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever
Summary: Ever since Luka was small he had been protecting Juleka from their father, protecting his friends from finding out the truth. But now, he was done.He isn't speechless anymore.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Anarka Couffaine & Luka Couffaine, Juleka Couffaine & Luka Couffaine, Marc Anciel/Nathaniel Kurtzberg
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	I Won't Be Silent, You Can't Keep Me Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxOTsg4CAec 
> 
> The song of the fic. 
> 
> This came from both me wanting to vent, and the what if: What if Luka and Juleka's father was still around?

Luka was only 13 when he realized that what his father was doing was wrong. They, being Juleka and Luka, where sitting in their room together, innocently playing with the boys guitar, when he came barreling into the room. Jule's flinched, already knowing what was going to happen. 

"Who made the mess on the boat?" The adult growled, and if looks could kill the two kids would be dead already. Luka gulped, but kept his head up. He had to do it for Jule's, who had already shut down. She cowered and moved so she was behind her brother, like he was a human shield. 

"Neither of us, it was like that when we got home from school," the boy said, heart pounding. He watched as his father balled his fists and pointed out onto the boat once more. 

"You're lying, because that wasn't like that shit show when I left for work. I will give you once last try, who made that mess?" He tapped his foot, each time it collided onto the wood floor made Luka one step closer to crying. 

"I'm not lying," he whispered. "Neither of us did that." The young teen flicked his head down, not wanting to see his own parent turn red with rage. He heard him stomp over to the two, Juleka trembling. The adult crouched down to the ground, grasping his sons jaw hard enough to leave marks, forcing him to look up at him. 

"You listen here, you little shit. I have had enough with the lying, and if I want I can just throw all of those goddamn toys over board!" He paused, challenging Luka to even think about responding. When he didn't the older took that as an opportunity to keep going. 

"I may do it too, just imagine, all your precious little things gone! I'll clean out your whole room and leave you with nothing but a stick and can!" His father began to scream, so close to Luka that he could smell his nasty breath. 

"The next time you lie I'll just do that, your mother isn't here to stop me! I may just throw you and Julie overboard as well! How do you like that, huh? Do you want me to do it? Do you?" Luka didn't say anything. 

"ANSWER ME YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT!" 

"N-no," he mumbled quietly. It was hard to talk with a hand forcing his jaw up. 

"Good. Now," He let go of his son, walking away. "Go fucking pick up that mess, I don't even care if you say it's not you anymore." 

With that the older walked away, humming some stupid song. He was suddenly happy too, like threatening to throw all of his kids things out was a normal Saturday, and really? It was. 

Slowly, after seeing that the coast was clear, Juleka crawled out from behind her brother, simply curling up against his side. She didn't cry, didn't rock back and forth, just sat there with a blank look and far away eyes. She barely even talked these days, because she was scared at getting yelled at by _him._

"Would you like me to sing you a song?" Luka asked, ignoring how much he wanted to scream and break down. He had to stay strong, for her. Jule's nodded. 

"The usual one or the new one I'm working on?" Juleka looked up at her brother, she hadn't heard the new song yet and was curious. She tapped his arm twice, signalling which answer she chose. The older giggled, but on the inside his heart stopped. The new song was personal...but she could handle it. 

"Here comes a wave meant to wash me away, a tide that is taking me under," he began, imagining the soft piano and violin in the back of his mind. He had been working on this song for a long time, but it only gained it's meaning that night. "Swallowing sand left with nothing to say, my voice drowned out in the thunder."

He gulped, trying to keep the knot in his stomach from getting tighter. He stopped, taking a deep breath, and started back up again. 

"But I won't cry, and I won't start to crumble, whenever they try to shut me or cut me down..." He could feel his sister nodding off, so he lowered his voice to a small whisper. 

"I won't be silenced, you can't keep me quiet, won't tremble when you try it...all I know is I won't go speechless," he paused, looking down. Juleka had dozed off. He carefully picked up the girl, setting her down on her bed and tucking her in. He leaned forward and gave her a small kiss on the forehead, walking away. 

He could pick up whatever was the mess himself, Juleka needed the rest. 

* * *

He was seventeen now, at a Kitty Section rehearsal. He was sitting in the corner, staring off into the distance. He was trying to think of a nice way to bring up a new song idea to everyone, but he didn't know how to do it without destroying the vibe that was already established.

Marinette, his crush, noticed and giggled. She jogged over to him, pointing back to the rest of the band, plus some extras that Luka called to come. 

"Are we gonna start practice or what?" She said, perky and upbeat. Luka shook his head to clear it, he had to start it one way or another. 

"Yeah, sorry Marinette, I was too captured by your beauty," he winked. Walking away, yet already knowing how red Mari was, Luka turned his attention to his band. 

Ivan was sitting at the drums with Mylene watching him in the audience. Rose was on the stage with Juleka, Adrien at the keyboard, and Marc and Nathaniel standing awkwardly in the middle of the boat. 

"Welcome, everybody. You may notice that we have some new people here today," the teen remarked, gesturing to the boyfriends. Marc gave a small nod and simply kept staring at his boots, whereas Nath waved. "That's because...I want to try out a new song, and these two decided to help. Boys?" 

At that the two in question crouched down, both of them grabbing a violin out of the cases they had brought. Luka had sent them both the sheet music ahead of time, giving them room to practice as the violin was still a little new to the both of them. The guitar player had the boys stand to the left of the stage as he also handed out the rest of the sheet music. 

"Speechless..." Juleka read out loud, before speaking up. "Um, Luka? I-I think you gave me the wrong part...this is for the triangle, I don't think it's mine." 

"Actually, you got the right one Jules. It's a new song I want to try out for our group. To...let us branch out that is. You may remember it, but I'm not so sure." He then began to direct everyone around the stage. Ivan was still in the back with his drums, Marc and Nathaniel with their strings instruments to the left and Juleka and Rose with their triangle and tambourine respectively to the right, and Luka in the middle...with the mic. 

"Before we go on," he said. "Mari, do you think we look good?" The bluebell squeaked before nodding. She was so busy in her sketchbook already that she wasn't ready to be called on. 

"Good, you look good! Wait no-I meant the band looks good! Yeah, the band!" She once more turned red, nervous laughter tumbling out of her mouth. Luka smiled and then turned to the rest of the band. 

"Now that you've all read over the music...what do you guys think?" They all were on different levels of liking it, but they all agreed to play. 

Together, they began to practice it part by part, editing it and trying again when they messed up. Finally, after what felt like years, they were able to somehow get the part in the middle correct. 

"Written in stone every rule every word, centuries old and unbending," Luka sang, admiring how everyone was keeping up. He was especially proud of Marc and Nathaniel, for this was their very first rehearsal yet they were doing great. "Stay in your place, better seen and not heard, but now that story is ending!" 

As Luka took a quick breath he thought about that one line. It was something his father had said on many occasions, mostly to Juleka. It made the older siblings blood boil, even thinking about it. He hated that jerk, for so many reasons. He was so scared to say anything or do anything against him, even talking to his Mom about it (she didn't care, she was gone on long trips most of the time, only coming home a few weeks at a time. And even then, his father put up a front.)  
  
But now? Now he was tired of staying quiet. 

"Cause I, I cannot start to crumble! So come on and try, try to shut me and cut me down!" He was really getting into it now. 

"I won't be silenced! You can't keep me quiet! Won't tremble when you try it, all I know is I won't go-" a loud bang of chords came from Adrien and everyone fizzled to a stop. Luka turned to the Agreste, a pang of worry slicing through his heart. 

Adrien's head was on the keys', and for a terrifying moment Luka was sure he had fainted, but then he heard a dramatic groan. He gestured to the group to keep practicing as he made his way over the the musician, crouching down beside him. 

"You okay?" he asked, smirking a little as the boy sat back up with marks the keyboard left behind. 

"Yeah it's just-this song is so hard...I can handle it, but most of the melody rests on my shoulders. What if I mess up? What if I miss a note or can't play a note?" Luka's heart sank. When he wanted to introduce this he didn't want anybody to get frustrated like this. He reached forward and grasped the rich teens hand, not noticing the dusting of red that went across his cheeks. 

"Adrien, I believe in your talent. You are doing extraordinary so far, and I know you can do this. If you don't want to, though, we can always go back to playing the other songs," something inside of Luka cried out at the thought of doing that, but he would do it for Adrien, or any of the band members.

"No! No that's fine! I'll just need to practice a lot more...I got this!" The thought of someone backing him up made Adrien grin and he went back into playing position, ready to begin again. Luka himself copied the smile, heading back to the front of the stage to address everyone. 

His father was meant to come home soon, and if everyone wasn't gone by the time he boarded then they would be caught in the crossfire of his screams to his children. He didn't want that for them...they didn't have to know what was going on until the night of the concert. 

* * *

Luka stood on the stage, the large crowd in front of him cheering him and Kitty Section's names over and over. He was already halfway through the song, the passion and raw emotion in his voice driving most to tears. Ivan was rocking it, Adrien, his now boyfriend, hadn't messed up once, Juleka and Rose were playing their parts right on time, and even if Marc was having second thoughts both him and Nathaniel were playing without a care in the world! Luka felt like he was bursting at the seems in pride. 

"Let the storm in! I cannot be broken! No I won't live unspoken, cause I know that I won't go speechless!" He began to scan the crowd, his eyes landing on a certain and seething pair in the back. They were the same steely pair that would glare at him when he did nothing wrong, the same pair that were alive with glee every time he screamed enough to make both his children sob. 

In the back of his mind the boy worried what his father would say about his outfit, but instead he threw that thought out. 

What he was wearing was different then his usual outfit. He was wearing simple magenta pants, the fancy and silky kind, that covered a pair of golden wedges on his feet. A white based and thin turtle neck replaced his usual graphic shirt, the arms covering parts of his golden gloved hands. He also wore a golden jacket, one that went down past his hips and touched the floor, along with a purple belt to give himself a sinched waist. His hair was messier, but pulling the outfit together was his sharp black lined eyes with his light plum lips, and the dangling golden earrings along with a necklace with a purple heart charm. 

All along his shirt, the sides of his pants, and even his shoes, were gold and white gems sparkling in the stage lights. They were painstakingly glued on one by one, and Luka thanked his lucky stars that his girlfriend was so talented, and he made a note to pay her back in some way for all the work she did. 

Taking a breath and ignoring his speeding heart, Luka kept singing, yet made his way off the stage and through the crowd. 

"Try to lock me in this cage, I won't just lay me down and die!" Finally, the crowd parted enough that he finally made it to his parent, glaring right on back to him. He was close, so, so, so, close to him, and here he was, finally able to yell and give to him what he had given to them for their whole life. 

"I will take these broken wings and watch me burn across the sky! Hear the echos saying I won't be silent-" A loud slap could be heard across Paris, interrupting the singers note, followed by a loud thunk. 

Luka stayed on the ground where he was, hearing the music from his friends come to an abrupt stop. His father, his own father, just hit him. Smacked him across the face. 

"What in the hell are you thinking?" the adult hissed. "You dare speak up at me! You need to learn your place. Get up and call this whole thing off, or so help me I'll do it myself!" 

Luka thought about his answer. It was his fear over his heart...who was he going to listen too? 

Slowly, he stood back up, head down and seemingly finished. That was, until he lifted it up to reveal a livid and frustrated expression. Tears were leaking down his face as well thanks to the cocktail of emotions he was feeling and the searing pain on his cheek. 

"Though you wanna see me tremble when you try it!" He began. "All I know is I won't go speechless, speechless!"

His father looked like he was about to hit the teen again, and he stood his ground, but someone stopped him. Anarka suddenly appeared, holding back her husbands hand to keep it from slapping her son. 

"Yer need to walk the plank, bitch," she said, using a normal cuss word this time. That meant that she was serious. Luka grinned, happy that his mother was there, but he was still trembling a little. Shakily, he kept singing, but in the back of his mind he kept replaying what had happened. 

"Cause I'll breath, when they try to suffocate me! Don't you underestimate me!" He sang his heart out in the middle of the stage, watching as his father got the lecture of the lifetime from his pirate mom and walk off the boat. She made it to the front of the crowd, cheering for her son louder then anyone, even Mari.

"Cause I know that I won't go speechless! All I know is I won't go speechless! Speechless!" He held the note, feeling his chest constrict once he was done. 

He just did that....he confronted his father and he left...but he hit him. _He hit him_. The teen's eyes flickered across all the heads in the audience, never really sticking too or processing each one. The cries of joy, the calls for more, it was all becoming too loud, too much. 

The Couffaine stumbled, tripping over his feet, and falling onto his back. He stayed there, one leg down and the other bent at the knee. He covered his ears, closed his eyes, trying to block everything out. 

Why was he hyperventilating? Why was his heart pounding still? _He_ was gone, why was he still so...so scared? The worried yells of his band mates only stabbed Luka's ears more, so he turned to his side, tucking his feet up to his chest but keeping his eyes shut. 

He just wanted everything to stop, to go away, to be quiet! To let him sit in the quiet with all the lights off. He just wanted this to be done!

He felt hands connect to him, checking to see if he was okay he was sure, but they only burned, so he strayed from the touch. He cried out, tears escaping ten fold as he felt he could hardly breath. 

He just wanted this to be done. _He just wanted this to be done._

**Author's Note:**

> I serouisly need to stop writing angst at god knows how late it is Geez. I have school lol 
> 
> Anyway, sorry if there are any mistakes, I'll edit it in the morning.


End file.
